Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Rogue v. Road

A real article. You should be pleased. I quite am.

I recently was working on gearing up the warlock for future bloodbaths, random BGing with Mordy, doing dailies as we waited. AB pops, and we both moan with delight. Nothing better than sitting on BS and letting the honor trickle into our mouths, harassing the Alliance at LM because they dig their wood, or taking Stabl├ęs (not a typo, say it like that, it's fun) because no one is there EVER and horsies are cool (I tend to yell "HORSIES" when I head there; I am very excited for horsies always). We play with the nodes a bit, things aren't working out, so I retreat back to farm to just chill. I start seeing the usual banter from the angermonkeys in chat:

"You guys suck."

"Horde always loses."

"Why are you guys so bad."

[DISCLAIMER: Those last three quotes, in reality, more than likely lacked punctuation, proper grammar, and spelling. Please use any level of imagination to make those seem more retarded in order to help in believability. Thanks! ~MGMT]

Who's saying that? Oh, a rogue. Right. Let me check where you are. On the fork between BS, LM, and Farm. Fighting three or four Alli. Uh huh. We're so bad. Noted. So since I'm only mildly contributing by defending Farm, I get to what I'm good at. Showing you your Stupid (Your actual possessive stupid. The stupid you own. I know you want that apostrophe. You ain't getting it, it's something that you own, that you care for, and foster every time you get on that Alt rogue. If it's not an Alt, dear God, help us all).

I'm usually the instance leader. I don't know why, maybe the game knows I'm me and I require it.

No one caught that cast. It's cool. I'll keep trolling the waters. Fishing takes patience. I've got lots of patience.

Krenlyn of Quel'dorei got that call for Mine. That's why she's illin'. I'd be illin' too if people listened to me.

Still trolling. It works out that cast, because someone finally says something.

DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER FOLKS. Nigh on eight years and you have the nerve to tell me that it's DPS, not actually winning, that wins BGs? Let's do this, knifelicker.

What people fail to understand is the simple subtleties of rhetoric, the implications of evocative speech, and the woven meaning behind such spartan sarcasm. I'm not mad. I have a blog.

Farmer Yoon be trippin' on my AB skillz. I should get Tillers rep for this.

OMG. BRILLIANT IDEA. They should put an escort quest in AB. Node to node. Horde would win. Hands. Down.

What also tickles me is that I keep saying this shit all BG and no one gets off the roads. We are losing. FUCKING LOSING and no one stops the senseless murder and gets on a fucking flag. I've missed you, WoW, so hard. So fucking hard. Please, give me more.

The rogues and the DKs are so busy that they really can't be bothered with a response. I'm just pointing out that our victory rests solely on their shoulders, and I'm fairly certain, by their lack of response and their heavy attempts at keeping the roads clear, that they understand this and agree with me.

I don't think anyone, at this point, wants to listen to me, because we lose Mines right after I said this.

It's okay, Sandreh, you tried. You really, really tried. Perhaps one day your deeps will count. For now, delete your account. You're useless. Get outta me. We are done.

I AM OATHBREAKER OF DRESSEDTOCUDDLE.COM, DERPOGUE. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

You're the reason I came back.

Ladies and gentlemen, My name is Oath. This is my blog. I write it with Alliance blood. Thank you for reading.

2 comments:

Tim said...

Randomly decided to check in on your site like I do once a month or so. Glad to see you posted something new! Almost makes me want to play WoW again...

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