Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Hunter v Lock

First, big welcome back to my great and wonderful friends, Kailynolivia and Nocpsyrn! I missed you oh so very much! Now I don't have to cry from severe loneliness when I play...uh, I mean, cry...because...I'm so damn awesome. Yeah. That's less pathetic.

So Saresa and Brigwyn Have lost their damn minds.

They've started a blogosphere class war. Apparently what had happened was that in an episode of THL Podcast, Brigwyn asked hunters to send in a screenshot of them misdirecting to a warlock. Saresa takes the misdirect and fires back, saying that warlocks, such as myself, need to unite, boycott The Hunting Lodge, and submit a screenshot of a hunter murder. Brigwyn retorts by insulting Saresa's pigtails.


This doesn't mean I'm joining you, Saresa. You are all crazy. I kill people equally (except rogues, I have them on priority kill, those facerolling retards). I don't need anyone to say something nasty to me. Though if you did say something nasty to me, it helps quite a bit in killing you faster.

Second, I like Saresa. In fact, it's safe to say I have a blogger crush on her. It should also be said that I have a blogger crush on Jaedia as well, and while she is a hunter who has voiced partial involvement (an involvement, which, I would assume, is only by persistence of class), I still want to make blood elf babies with her.

Kitchener, you so awesome.

Let's stop the senseless animosity. I say this partially because I already have the Pandaren Monk and I totally would have taken Brigwyn up on his screenshot-contest-thing and dusted off my level 46 orc hunter had I not a Pandaren, but c'mon, really, everyone just group hug! Here at D2C, it's all about the lovin'. Speaking of, Saresa and/or Jaedia, call me.

No more Hunter v Warlock. Just hold me.

Rogues suck. :x

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Search for Ezthree: My Road to Pilgrim's Bounty

First, thanks to my great friend IRL, Rawq, for fixing my computer! You rawq my socks off. Har har har. That was lame.

I am an achievement whore, and with the advent of Pilgrim's Bounty, I had found something that sated my carnal needs and rewarded me with only the sticky goodness keystrokes and mouse-clicks can give: an adventure and a turkey. This blog post is so damn hot right now, I'm about to bust a holiday chestnut (roasting on an open fire) up in this bitch.

I had completed a vast majority of the achievements required for Pilgrim and was left only to do Turkey Lurkey. My faction's rogues weren't so hard to find, obviously, but trying to find Alliance rogues proved to be a challenge at 4 in the morning. Perhaps I should have waited a day, but when I am so damn close, I'm bending that sexy minx of an achievement over and spanking it until she knows who's whose daddy (told you this blog post was hot).

So how do I find an Alliance rogue? PVP. Yeah. They're usually in there. I queued up. After about three really fast AVs (sorry, no screenshots) wherein I tried really hard to go south and not north and died quite a bit in the process, I managed to tag a human and a night elf. Halfway to my goal and not wanting anymore beatings (as if it would have been different had I tried to fight back), I sat outside the Silver Enclave to see if I could catch a dwarf or a gnome.

Well, I'm patient. I can wait.

Had that shit bound to 1. I'll get you, rogue.

After about 15 minutes of patient waiting, I saw a dwarf in my periphery heading to the right-hand doorway of the Silver Enclave, so I took aim and fired, tagging him as he went around the corner. I was one rogue away from delicious achievements, so now was the time to hunt the little man down.

I ran around Dalaran some more before I realized that it was getting near dawn IRL, and perhaps I should find a way to expedite the situation before I keel over in exhaustion. I signed on to my Alliance toon and ran a search.

Ouch, that many gnomes on and only two rogues? I guessed I should have counted myself lucky at that time in the morning on a medium population server. Like Sherlock, I made an assessment: Tuckie in Dun Morogh wasn't going to cut it; a level 1 character could sign off while I was in transit to him, so Ezthree was my gnome. I hopped back on Oath, bound for the Wetlands.

That'll make finding the little bugger a little easier.

I took a flightpath from UC to Arathi. At this point you may be wondering, “Oathy, darling, what makes you think that gnome won't sign off? What makes you think he'll still be in the Wetlands when you get there? You know, that's a big place, sweetheart, a macro is useful, but do you think spamming it while traveling the length and breadth of the zone will warrant success? You could have whispered him on your Alliance toon to make it easier on yourself, my dear.”

First, you're creeping me out with all the terms of endearment. KNOCK IT OFF. I was only assuming Ezthree wouldn't sign off, since he was in the Wetlands at level 31, he was most likely questing. If he was questing, then he wouldn't be leaving the zone. The Wetlands, like any other zone, is a really big place, and finding Ezthree would be like finding a needle in Varian's pubes (it'd be difficult, because we all know Varian's pubes are legendary for their prickliness and needle-like quality). I wasn't going to spam the macro all over the zone, that's just foolish. It made more sense to spam it in certain areas of the zone where points of interests are. Finally, whispering? Seriously? Where's the fun of that? Did Captain Ahab tell Moby Dick, “Hey whale, you wait right the fuck there, and I'll come to you, kill you, and reattach my leg”? No, sucka. He very well did not do that. I hunt my game like a good hunter...err, warlock.

I took the journey south to the Wetlands, spamming my macro only when I passed encampments of NPCs, small buildings, or hovels. I headed west, figuring that my first main objective was Menethil Harbor. If he was anywhere first, he had to be at the Alliance stronghold. I get to the gates, making note that the guards were only level 42, so I ran by with no intent on killing anyone. My macro grabbed Ezthree almost immediately, and instinctively I stopped and started whipping the camera around to see where the target circle was. In whipping the camera around, I accidentally ran into a house and aggro'd the family within, who yelled for guards, who came to greet me with stern looks of disapproval. Dammit, Menethil Harbor is like Goldshire: there's spawn guards. It got to the point where I could not have ignored the guards, so I fought back, but as they would fall, more would spawn. At this point, Ezthree came out to see what all the ruckus was about outside, no doubt hearing the strident calls of pain, as I am known to leave in my wake, both on the battlefield and in the bed. Scandalous!

I politely asked him to wait while I killed those who sought to protect him. I wasn't going to hurt the little guy, I only wanted to shoot him with my turkey gun. Eventually I quelled the threat of guards and lead little Ezthree to the bridge outside, beckoning him to follow. He did, and when I knew it was safe, I took aim and gave him a face full of feathers.

WOO! Good prey! Good hunt!

He came up to me after I had turned him into a turkey. I hugged him and thanked him, and he jumped up and down and spun around a bit.

Later on, I had thanked him on my Alliance character, but he didn't respond. Safe to say, he might have been a new player, so this might have been interesting experience for him.

Happy with my achievement, I headed back to Dalaran to celebrate.

It seemed I was not the only one with it, as there were a few Alliance players outside Silver Enclave with their titles and turkeys out. So we celebrated with fireworks.

To all my American readers, Happy Thanksgiving! To everyone else, I hope the start of this holiday season finds you in good spirits!

I'm thankful for gnome rogues shaped like turkeys and curvy ladies.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Ensign, Status Report


And they went boom. :O

On November 13th, 2009, my computer, for three years, a faithful servant to my whimsical fancy in all things writing, photo-editing, and gaming, succumbed to senility and, inherently for his kind, became a paperweight as a result.

I have a corrupted boot sequence. My computer is a prefab from a company, so rather than being awesome and giving me Windows XP install discs, they gave me a recovery disc, which does not do the same thing. It restores OS problems from the hard drive itself, through a partition, therefore I have two options: restore destructive (wipes the drive completely), or restore backup (wipes the drive completely, saves only the settings, not the documents or installs). I've already had to do this once before, last December, the first time this hard drive crashed. The only way around it without losing anything on the hard drive is...well, there isn't any way around it. I have to wipe the damn thing. The recovery console is impossible to access.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I have two blown capacitors. Yup, I played with two blown capacitors for eleven months. I'll take a picture and show you guys sometime.

I'm writing this from my father's computer, a device made only for business spreadsheets, document printing, and Facebook surfing. Photoshop has not been installed on this PC, so I can't make hilariously funny screenshots or clever little banners of awesome. You've only my seductive words to keep you by in the meantime.

Safe to say I can't play WoW for a while, but that's okay. I'll be back in the game soon.

Pseudo-poll for my readers: If I were to, say, hypothetically make a character on a different RP server to actively roleplay with intent to create drama, heartache, ridiculous RP adventures, and overall hilarity, what faction, race, class, and spec should I be? Hypothetically of course, I wouldn't be writing a regularly updated log of this possible character in the future at all, should you reply with your responses so I could make him or her to write about. Nope, not going to make him or her at all, purely hypothetical.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Apple App Store Inadvertently Advertises Bloggers

Small update, mostly because I like when people get represented in places unexpectedly.

If you read my back log, you know that I have an iPhone. It's sexy, user friendly, has everything I want in a mobile device and more, and anyone advocating those "iPhone killers" over this well-made piece of machinery can swallow a knife.

I have a morning (afternoon) tradition when I wake up: check the iPhone systematically. I look at my email, which is pushed to the phone, there's a Facebook app, as well as my texts I gander before I even get out of bed. Once in a while I'll peruse the App Store to see if anything had been updated, or to look for new apps available that I might want (the free ones, I'm only going to pay for your silly apps, Apple, if they're unavoidably cool, like Bebot or Oregon Trail, and yes, Oregon Trail is awesome, you can shut your damn mouth about it, naysayer). This morning, I was looking abouts on the App Store, no updates, just browsing, and I decided, hey, Oathface, check out the WoW apps, maybe they have something cooler than just the Armory or a Murloc Soundboard (I don't believe they have one, just saying, that would be cool though). The vast majority of the WoW-related apps, as I've noticed, were mostly RSS Readers, tailored for certain interests among players, notably, class-specific blogs. I looked at a few. I saw links on the general Readers for sites like World of Matticus, MMO-Champion, and WoW.com (seen as WoW Insider); but because I'm a warlock, naturally, I looked at the Warlock News App.

Two bucks for a feed reader? Nah, I'm cool. The only real difference between this specific app and the other class blog apps is preloaded RSS feeds. As a result, you're paying for a feed reader with a class theme. You can add and delete blogs at your liberty, so really, it boils down to the name of the class that is displayed at the bottom. I'll just get up out of bed and move the distance of stupid to the computer and read all of you bloggers from there. My stinginess outweighs my laziness. Though I didn't buy it, I still scrolled down to look at the screenshots.

Well look at that. Ain't that the bee's tits. I follow these five blogs, amongst others, for all my warlocking needs (sad to say YAWN and Draining Souls are decommissioned). Grats to Nibs, Dagpep, and my seductive gnome baby's mama friend, Hydra, for unpaid advertisement! I guess it's not really the App Store that advertises blogs, but LoL Software who does. So my title is wrong, but hey, got your attention. Sucker.

And as a postscript, thanks so much to Jaedia for her honorable mention on her sexy blog, and the others at Blog Azeroth for their warm welcome! Glad to be part of the WoW Blogosphere!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Stupid Nubs: the AH Edition

Once again, another edition of Stupid Nubs for you today. This time, we hit the AH.

In lieu of my friend, Hydra, making gold up the wazoo, my blog-following as of late has been focused on places like Greedy Goblin, WoW Economist, and WoWenomics, all in an effort to give greater gravity and girth to my goldsacks (har har).

One of the posts suggested to put vendor-sold items on the AH. I like messing with dumb people, in fact, that seems to be all I write about. So I got on Runface and ran around TB purchasing things. Only a few, though, because in the likelihood I don't sell anything, I don't want to have a ridiculous surplus of Skinning Knives on me.

Of course we've all seen it: AH items that don't make sense. We don't buy them, who the hell would? Seriously, no one can be that stupid.

I grabbed stuff, mostly items you'd need for mats, posted them, and in a few days I found that, yes, there are actually people out there who buy vendor items from the AH.

That would be ONE Rune Thread. At a base price, no faction discount, of 50s each, I think I made a significant profit.

Again, just ONE Eternium Thread, not a stack, receiving a 350% profit. The fact that this guy bought three auctions of the same item makes me chuckle.

I decided, hell, why not, let's get ridiculous. I bought coal. Sold by most Blacksmithing Supply Vendors, 5s base price per piece of coal, I bought a stack for 47s 50c with faction discount on Run. I posted it for a ridiculous price.

Seriously? C'mon people. That's just retarded. IT'S FUCKING COAL. You paid me that much for coal?!

20 yards. That's all I have to say. I made a little more than a daily quest by moving 20 bloody yards.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Messing With Gold Farmers Beggars: Killermanjac

This post will solidify one particular trait of my gamer personality: I am an asshole. I will openly admit, as a disclaimer, that I went out of my way completely to screw over this Rogue, Killermanjac. I try not to live my life with regret, in real life and in-game, so therefore, even in retrospect, I don't feel an ounce of guilt. With this in mind, on to the messing-withs.

I'd gone AFK on Oath, busy eating a messload of candy (anyone else notice the lack in the number of trick-or-treaters this year?) and watching the third replay of Night of the Living Dead on AMC, when I glanced over, Reese's smeared all over my face, to see this:

I think we can all agree that beggars are annoying. Usually, I don't do anything about them, but, in my sugar-addled mind and with the notion that I've been writing a blog for the last several months about Warcraft anthropology and sociology (my server is pretty much a bunch of chimps, save for a few of you, and I'm Jane Goodall), I had a twitch to mess with this sucker. Despite my twitch, I let it ride, seeing if he'd ask again or if he'd do something. He did:

I hate when other players would do that. I'm sorry, Dalrak, that you had fallen victim to this douchehat. Please, allow me to assist you.

He found me in Orgrimmar, then like a good little gold beggar, opened trade, no attempt to convince me to give him the gold, just another useless turd asking for another hand out. It also helped my irritation that he's a rogue. I fucking hate rogues.

He can has Cow Level.

Yes. That's right. I used Direbrew's Remote. He went in. That's a good beggar. Jump when I say jump. After about five minutes of silence, I leave party. After about another three minutes, he whispered me:

Kekekekekekekekeke. :P After another two minutes or so, to which, I assume, he'd gone into the room and destroyed the barrels, then had become accosted by some piss-drunk dwarves, I get a response:

To conclude: there is no Cow Level. No, I don't feel guilty. Yes, I am an asshole, but allow me to illustrate with another screenshot.