Thursday, August 4, 2011

Broken CPU Pin? I FIXED IT.

So I ordered new RAM for my desktop. To install it, I had to remove my huge CPU heatsink. I own a Zalman CNPS10X 120mm, which, for any PC building enthusiasts out there, is a moderately sized heatsink. For laymen, it’s huge. It looks like a metal brick in the corner of my PC box. It’s a bit of a chore to take it out, but an upgrade is an upgrade, and it had to be done.

For an AMD CPU mount, specifically an AM3 socket, there’s a black frame around the socket itself on the motherboard. The bracket that attaches the heatsink to the motherboard is just a band of steel that uses resistance to stay on, with two loops at either end of the black frame as hooks. I popped this off and pulled the heatsink off, and the CPU chip came with it. Oh snap, not good.

The thermal paste was so stuck on that it had yanked the chip from the socket. I panicked a bit, and carefully pried the CPU from the heatsink, gray glue all over my fingers. I took a look at the CPU and it seemed fine, so I put my new RAM in, replaced the CPU, heatsink, wires, and turned it on.

Didn’t post. My heart started to race.

I unplugged everything, took off the heatsink, took out the RAM, and examined all the hardware. Everything seemed fine, and I started to do RAM musical chairs to see if I had gotten some bad sticks. It didn’t seem to be that, and then my heart sank at the notion that meandered across my mind. The CPU.

I have an AM3 Phenom II 965 Quad-core processor; at the time that I bought it, it was over $200. It’s honestly a really good processor and has never given me any trouble, but right there and then, I pretty much just gut-punched it by accident.

I took off the heatsink and looked at the processor. There was a bent pin. NOOOOOOOO.

I tell myself, “I can fix it, just a bent pin. No biggie.”

I took some eyeglass screwdrivers and started fiddling with it, pushing it carefully here and there, and then my hand slipped and the pin snapped.

I broke the most miniscule little bit of metal off the most important piece of hardware in a computer. I died.

I stared at the CPU, my hands against the sides of my head. It took my five minutes to muster up the mental faculties to even think.

I suddenly had a stroke of inspiration. I went to a closet in my house and found an old VGA cable. I yanked out a pin from it with some needle-nose pliers. I counted the pins on the CPU chip to the vacant spot where the pin was. Then I counted the pinholes in the motherboard to the exact location of the essential pin. I shoved the VGA pin into that pinhole, carefully replaced the CPU, heatsink, wires, and turned it on.


I am PRO. :D

I honestly can say I didn’t think it’d work.


I JUST found this. Apparently, Linus had the same EXACT thing happen and he made a video of it. Pretend he's a blood elf and you've basically got my situation. :P

Thursday, June 30, 2011

YouTube Video, GO: 4.2! Part 1

O: Check out parts 2, 3, and so on and so forth as they come out on my YouTube Page!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Look at Old Crap, Become a Professor

Hey, guess what.

After the long and arduous grind of sifting through old bullshit people left behind, I've acquired what most haven't: the certified ability to teach at a post-secondary institution.

Here's my rap sheet for the blues and purps:

Sad thing, probably only three of those are gonna see the light of day. Oh well. At least I got my title, which I'm retiring Loremaster for. I figure, in a more applicable sense, all that I've been through to get the Loremaster title, I can now say I teach it.

Get your felt-tip pens ready, ladies. You gonna be writing "love you" on your eyelids for this warlock. Got the D.A.D.A. position at Dalaran University.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Stupid People: Fartzapper


Been a while since I've dicked around with people, and since I've been playing with Äsclepius more, I've REALLY dicked around more than usual. For those of you who aren't privvy first hand, Äsclepius trolls you. That said, allow me to lay the scene.

I'm tanking on One, waiting for 'Pius (pronounced "Pious," but I say "Peeus") to show up, so I decided to level via insta-queue, catch up a bit because he was ahead in the bars. At 83 and 84, you've got two choices for instances: Bonercore or Vortex Testicle. I get Testicle, and it's already up to Puff, the Magic Dragon. Brilliant.

I'm with a Mage, a Priest, a DK, and Fartzapper, an Elemental Shaman, who, at the time of writing this and seeing his armory, has six items that give Agility, two items that give Strength, and an Intellect headpiece that has an Attack Power and Resilience enchant.

Mm. This is already awesome.

We down Puff, surf the jetstream, and I start marking. I take a gander at recount as markers go up. Farts is pulling about 1200 DPS. I quietly give him the benefit of the doubt.

Mage gets Moon, Shaman gets Panties; I don't really trust some pug Priest healer that isn't 'Pius to MC the Adept. I announce in party what each marker means. CC pulls, I pull off, but Panties is still walking around. The Minister of Air is annoying. He's got a green thong on his head and he's lobbing electricity like he's Tesla for a good five seconds before the priest, who wasn't told what to do, who is also healing, MC's the Minister and tosses him off the side for relief. The Elemental shaman is meleeing. I get a whisper from the mage before the next pull.

I promise that Rift article is coming. Anyway, after I reassign duties properly and everyone BUT the shaman rolls like a pro, I engage in a bit of conversation.

Hey, you never know. I'm not gonna call someone bad if they're just distracted. And if they're constantly distracted, like Repello always is, then yeah, I'm gonna call him or her a baddie. Kids, don't be a Repello.

Farties replies.

My issue? Buddy, you are my issue. I will not suffer a lazy toddler. Carry you? Fuck your mother.

Stars are up next, know what he does to try and make up for shit DPS? Earth Elemental Totem, GO!

I don't understand. HELP ME UNDERSTAND YOU. No? K, next pull. No Hex, I'm not gonna ask you to look through your spell book. Not gonna educate you on how to play your class. Not my job. I am curious though. After a pull, noticing that myself, the DK, the Mage, and even the Priest show up on the recount, I inquire further.

Kinda understood what you said. Not really.

"Let's just go"?! Peanut gallery's restless. Seriously, have we gotten to this? I'd have thought, with the advent of the new expansion, we'd have gotten back to humbler roots; I was under the assumption that the somewhat-harder-than-Lich-King content would do away with the loosely supported arrogance. Here's Farts though, proving my assumptions wrong, talking big without even a foot to stand on.

So we kill the last group of stars and I give it a shot.

Apparently the group isn't with me. You uninvolved prats. Thanks for making me lose more faith in humanity. Asaad goes down easy; the shaman even knows to get in the triangle, which tells me he's done this before and has been carried quite often. He proceeds to be a fully-realized fucktard.

Captured Lightning, by conventional standards, is a healing trinket. Pretty sure he doesn’t need Billowing Cape, unless I missed something in Caster 101. I query his intentions.

Perhaps now, since the instance is over, I'll get a fairly straight forward, reasonable answer.

Lemme fix that for you. What you should have said was, "I LIKE BLUE, IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR." I would have accepted that, thanked you for your time, and wished you luck in all your endeavors, both in game and IRL, as it's so very difficult for those who are headfucked by a serrated dildo to fit in with normal society.

I know, I know. I could have laid into the guy. Could have left him writhing in agony; could have left him cut with a scathing remark or some witty repartee to turn his teeth inside out and make him wish he really was playing Rift (God help him). But no. Went with the poke and bolted. I could tell, deep down, that dry puss was feverishly banging at the keyboard, raging like the anonymity doth allow him, and I honestly just wanted to ding, so getting out of there was priority number one for me.

In any case, I want you out there, my few and loyal readers, to pay him a visit on his fair Darrowmere. Ask him, sincerely, what the flying urethra fuck is he doing with Strength gear. Ask him nicely though. Then tell him to check out :)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

4.2 Needs to Piss People Off

Gonna be honest here, I think the game maaay be peaking. Or at least getting really close. I'm seeing less guildies signing up for raids, hell, less guildies signing on at all; there was a tumbleweed rolling back and forth in the AH today, and most people I've asked to go to ZA and ZG with me just went, "eh." I pugged Stonecore the other day and I heard crickets, fucking CRICKETS CHURPING when Slabhide was supposed to appear. THE BOSS WAS SCRIPTED TO APPEAR AND HE WASN'T EVEN THERE. Probably playing Rift or something on Steam.

I've seen it written about on other sites already through the years. Everything that takes commitment to enjoy peaks, as will WoW one day. So, Blizz, this modest Warlock implores you, in the upcoming patch:

That's right. I fucking said it. Kill him. Kill him really super hard. From a very objective and confident standpoint, I hope he dies and never comes back. I hope his voice is silent in the annals of Warcraft lore, I hope he will still be decomposing a year from now, and I hope we never fucking see him alive again.

Now why the hell would I want something like that? He was my Warchief for years. YEARS. I fought, bled, and died for him on a regular basis. I still fight for him now in hopes that he'll slap the shit our of Garrosh and take his rightful place as leader of the Horde, or make Saurfang Warchief (dear Lord, please). He has been an unwaivering hero through the toughest times Azeroth has ever faced, and despite all the hardships he's been through, he's shown such esteemed valor, strength, and fortitude. He has lead as an example to all, and for fuck's sake, do I want him to die so bad.

I'm going to comic-book nerd it up now. Just so you're prepared. Remember when Superman died? Obviously someone like him, as iconic as he is, could never die. But he did, and it was good. Then he came back AND THE STATUS QUO WAS REESTABLISHED. Captain America was shot after Civil War. Did he stay dead? NO, BECAUSE OF SOME DEUS EX SHIT. Uhh, he's actually been transported through space and time BULLSHIT. Fucking dick writers. Oh, and Batman in Final Crisis? Darkseid lasers him DEAD. Does he stay dead? NO, ASSHOLE TRAVELS THROUGH TIME AND OPENS A COMPANY WHERE HE MAKES AN ARMY OF PISSED OFF ORPHANS. Well, not really, but yeah. Didn't stay dead.

Point is, when a hero, who is part of an epic story, dies, he or she is capable of coming back because the universe is so big that anything is possible.


Fucking. No.

Here it is, Blizz. This is your one shot. Shock the gaming world AND MAKE THE FUCKING DEAD STAY DEAD. Aerith Gainsborough this shit with a Masamune. Seriously. Too many times have we faced evil and overcame it. Every challenge you've pitted against us, we've not only conquered, but destroyed. There have been numerous, seemingly ridiculous attempts at decimating the shit out of Azeroth, and have we saved it every time? Yeah, we have, and even in one expansion, pretty effortlessly. There comes a time when we need to make a mistake, when we need to learn; there needs to be a moment when we fall so hard that it does nothing but place pain, anguish, and suffering so deeply in our hearts that we have no better respite than to FUCKING FIGHT THAT MUCH HARDER.

I want his memory to lead as an example. I want him to be regarded by both Horde and Alliance as a fighter for all that is good and just in our world. I want us to stop finding a crutch to tangibly fight behind and just believe in ourselves.

Thrall needs to die and stay dead. Our universe has never known defeat or failure against pure evil. It's time to lose so that we can take a step back, humble ourselves, then keep moving forward.

Maybe his death (and his keeping to the whole dead thing, not coming back, and really being super dead) will create what Blizzard needs to keep the franchise going, rather than monthly panderings and hotfix rollercoasters.

We don't need a new system of finding guilds, tracking NPCs, or modifications to talent trees. We need to start worrying. We need to get piss.

Blizz, I want you to kick me square in the nuts. Kill him and never let him come back.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Warlock Pet Genders, huh?

Zarhym better be fucking pandering. You kidding me? I don't want to see an Imp with boobs, I don't want to have a bondage Incubus following me around, I don't want to see my Big Blue with two C-Cup Blues vaporiously floating in front of her, I don't want to EVER see a female Doomguard, and there can't be seriously genders for an Infernal or a Felhound.

A girl Felguard, that's fine by me, BUT THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE FUCKING LINE.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Like a Week-old Baguette

Only I'm not so French, mon ami.

So you're probably thinking, "Seriously, Oath, what the flying fucking shit. You've made promises and said things and done things, you know what, fuck it, I hate you. I hate you right here, deep in the cockles. So much. So fucking much. WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, ASSHOLE?! You were funny, and entertaining, maybe even so slightly informative, but to get right down to it, we're sick and fucking tired of you not writing!"

Now, if you're not thinking that, thanks for being slightly considerate! I will not make any elaborate excuses as to my whereabouts, nor will I attempt to promise anything in terms of writing topics or dates from here on out.

I will say simply, as to the nature of my absence, that I've been busy. That said, I want to share a fairly general philosophy I carry with me and try to apply to most of what I do: there is a distinct difference to finding time for something and making time for something.

I will make time. That, I can promise.

Also, I have a YouTube account now! Yeah, now you'll be getting Fraps videos of me playing not only WoW, but a plethora of other games! Hopefully it'll urge more in the way of writing, but like I said, no promises on that. Articles will come when they do.

So check out for all my digital exploits!

Thanks for checking in, if you do, and I hope to fulfill your future cuddling needs.

PS. Wartenx, get back to me. Your free shit is collecting dust.